so many wrongs..

what happens to humans that makes them forget so easily? are the things that happen to us in life so easily disregarded? I have this overall feeling that everything I experience is absolutely essential in making me the person I am currently, and inevitably the person I will become.

People are the catalysts in my life that are most saturated for inspirations of growth. The relationships I've made in my life are extremely important to me.

And even though it seems that every waking moment we are alive here, we are pretty much drifting and swaying with the tides that be in the universe; even though nothing in our lives has remained absolutely constant thus far; even though I look in the mirror every day and every day I feel like a new person, I have learned that the one thing people tend to expect to be the most accountable and the least changeable is.... well, the rest of the human race.



There is this small part of me that is angry because I feel like no one ever really asked what was going through my mind... and I feel like those who did took my words for granted... and those words blew away from their mind like sand on a pier instead of really sinking in and meaning something to them.

these experiences that I have been living through are a lot of things.. a lot of great things, and a lot of moments that remind me how much grace i have yet to ecru in my personal reasoning and what not... these experiences may have even been silly through most others' eyes.. but I would never call them haphazard or lacking in regard.

A said to me a few months ago, after his equilibrium was making him wobble and his eyes were light pink, that he would never understand why i ever gave up on him. And when he said that it made me realize the crucial point of all of this that everyone seemed to miss:

there was at no point in time that I ever gave up on anyone. That is what made it so difficult, and that is why it caused so much pain. I wasn't whimsically skipping through field of men picking which ever suited me most. These things shattered my core and left me a woman with the sole purpose to love, broken and miserably failed.


I could apologize from now until the end of my days and I feel like it would never change... because people forget that we are just pirouetting through the mostly-nothingness of the universal-existence... and people forget that there are more dimensions to most topics besides x, y, and z... and people often forget that they are not the only ones who look in the mirror every day, feeling as though they are looking at a different person each time.